Friday, November 23, 2012

Times like these.

This last week has been maybe a bit harder than before. Mentally I mean. Maybe I've been here now long enough for the honeymoon phase to end. I will hold the details for myself, but basicly I felt lonely, lost and miserable. Gladly, I like to think this as a good feature, I am unable to hold things inside me, so I talked to my boyfriend about my feelings. And now I feel much, much better and I believe in us even more than before (if it is possible).

We both know it will propably not get easier, it is very likely that in the future we will move to some country further away from our homes and with very different culture. But this is what we both have chosen, and I am sure that together we can overcome the obstacles. And this possibility to see world and different cultures more deeply than just from backpacker's view, is something I have dreamt of for a long time. And what could be better than to experience it all with the one you love? :)

I am a person who wants to feel very strongly. When I was a bit younger, still propably breathing fumes of my teenage phase, my "motto" was that if it does not feel like anything is not worth anything. I felt that it is better to be miserable than just ok. Nowdays my thoughts and efforts are more pointed to the direction "happiness" and I've understood that it is not good for a person to be in mental roller coaster all the time. But still I want to think the same: just ok is not enough. The point here was that these feelings that I've had lately are not unfamiliar to me, still once in a while I need some time to dwell in self-pity. This was the first time since last winter that I had to go there, and that must be somekind of a record! The reason is that I have found a person who makes me want to be happy and who I want to make very happy, and there is no space for being miserable there.

Labrinth feat. Emeli Sande - Beneath Your Beautiful

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