Three months holiday.

Long time, no see. I had somekind of motivation problems to write. For sure I have not been too busy :P

So I was back in Finland for two weeks, finally my boyfriend met my parents and my friends. Everything went well, just as I thought, everybody liked each others and so on. :) And we also were in London for a week for Olympics. That was amazing too, London is much nicer city than I thought. (I've been there before, but only for few days.) I could imagine living there someday.

Anyway, the point of my sudden writing motivation burst is not to tell about the travelling but...

After coming back to Wroclaw, I started to feel somehow different. First I was not sure what is this feeling, but finally I got it. I want a job! Before I was sure I can go on like this, cooking, cleaning, running, doing nothing, forever, but no. It seems enough is enough even in free time. I miss the feeling after work, when you know you've earned your free time. Right now I feel very guilty for example just watching TV or laying in sun. I feel like I should be somehow beneficial every minute of the day.

I miss the feeling that somebody or something is 'forcing' me to be useful, because for this kind of person like me with very little self-discipline, it is hard to do by myself. So most of the time I'm just thinking I should do something and feeling bad about myself because I'm not. :D

I also miss complaining. Oh god, how I miss it! Because a person who does not go to work, who does not have to get up early in the morning or actually at all, does not have a right to complain about anything. At least that's how I feel...